Thursday, June 11, 2015

Eternal Craving—Nina Bangs


His lips moved hard over hers at the same time his tongue demanded unconditional surrender. He tasted of mint toothpaste and aroused male. Her favorites. (171)

Jenna Maloy travels to Philadelphia to check in on her sister, Kelly, who has been whisked away by her new husband. Jenna has some suspicions, since Kelly only knew her new man for less than a month before they got hitched. In Philadelphia, Jenna meets Al—one of the Eleven—who she finds out actually has the soul of an Allosaurus. Because of course he does. Kelly hasn't actually told her sister anything about the new "family" that she has joined, so Jenna makes all the same mistakes as Kelly and gets into even more dangerous situations. But wouldn't you know it, Jenna happens to be one of the "keys" to defeating the big bads who are trying to eliminate humankind. But the stakes are much higher for her when she realizes that she is falling for Al, dinosaur soul and all.

This is the second book in the Gods of the Night series. I read the first, Eternal Pleasure, for VF Rewind since I missed it the first time around. Coincidentally, VF is also reading this book this month. Huzzah!

And dinosaur tears, if it wasn't as superbly terrible as Eternal Pleasure. I mean, just look at that cover art. Guess what year this book was released based on the cover? If you guessed early '90s, as I did, you're wrong. It was 2009!

I literally have nothing to say about the characters. They were not distinct or interesting enough to want to pay any attention to, and one of the Eleven even died, but because the books are really about the "love" story, with the story story secondary, I felt no attachment to the one who died.

When Jenna first arrives, somebody is trying to tell her the cover story for the group being in Philly, and then this happens: "Yeah, right. Jenna's bullshit hat was planted firmly on her head." (28) I'm sorry, what? Her bullshit hat? I hope that is a hat literally made of bull shit, because I will accept nothing less.

And the book is full to the brim of nuggets just like that.

Like this one, when they finally get down to the intimate moments and Al goes to enter her. "Nudging wasn't needed, because the door was wide open and the welcome mat already spread out." (266) SEXY. Now, I'm all for the use of metaphor and simile and hyperbole as writing devices, especially since that's their purpose. This just doesn't seem the right moment to utilize a metaphor. Any time in the other 250 pages when action is taking place or exposition is happening.

This sequel had the added benefit of being super repetitive, which I didn't notice in the first one. There were even points where literally the exact same words were used in the same order mere pages later, including the concept that Jenna and Al and his dinosaur soul would make an "uncomfortable threesome." Ah, just savor that mental image for a moment. I don't know why I expected the writing to be better than that, considering all of the evidence to the contrary.

But considering the alt for this month in VagFan is a 17-page ebook that is ACTUAL dinosaur erotica (like, dinosaur entering cavewoman), this sadly might be the better of the two...